Raised by Wolves

Raised by Wolves, the new book by Christie Mellor, is a rollicking romp through all the things that the well-raised 19 year old should already know but probably doesn’t.  Her style is light and conversational, and her prose compelling even for those of us well outside the target demographic, both in age and experience.  (Sigh.) 

I couldn’t put it down.

Now, I’m pretty sure that you already know to pay your taxes, take the sponge out of the sink, and be on time, but this book and its advice just might be the perfect gift for a young cousin graduating from high school or college.  And if you sneak a peek at the text before you wrap it in impeccable gift wrap, tie it with an unwrinkled piece of ribbon, or just drop it in that gift bag sitting over there on your desk, well, no one would blame you.  This book is definitely entertaining, and an addictive read!

Now, when is Christie coming out with her next book?

This review was done in conjunction with the Parent Bloggers Network.

 

Earth Day … and Little Critter too

My oldest child is three.  Three and a half, I suppose, although he’s not even to the age where he insists on “and a half!” I know we’ll get there soon, but for now, he’s a young preschooler, blissfully ignorant about war and global warming and all the dangers out there that we adults are charged with managing until it’s his turn, and that of his classmates, to take the reins of this great big world.

But because I know that it’s not good for a child to grow up ignorant of danger, I’ve begun introducing the concept to him slowly.  Of course he knows to be wary of strangers, and to hold Mommy’s hand when crossing the street, but I’m now starting to introduce him to the bigger worries in life.

Like climate change.

Somewhere along the way, we began reading the Little Critter books by Mercer Meyer.  We happily read through stories about bedtime, about cleaning one’s room, about growing up.  Then came It’s Earth Day!  I don’t know who consulted and contributed scientific expertise for this book, but it starts on a worrisome note about the ice disappearing and the polar bears having nowhere to live.  Little Critter gets really worried, and leads his friends on an all-out recycling binge.  Then he undertakes a plan to save the Earth.

My kind of little critter!

Only, of course, it doesn’t work, and he gets frustrated, and then the book ends a little preachily about all the things that he and his family DID do to save the earth.  Which is well and good, until he mentions the polar bears again.

As my three-year-old would say, “Oh, brother.”

The polar bears are a symbol that has been bandied about by groups on both sides, and there is plenty of educated discourse about that other places on the internet.  I don’t intend to reproduce that here, but I will say that when I read this book to my child, I edit it a bit.  We talk about “helping the Earth,” not saving it.  We talk about “saving energy,” instead of global warming.  We talk about how important it is to ”reduce, reuse, recycle” in our every day lives.  We are careful not to litter, and to talk about how sad we are when we see someone carelessly toss trash on the interstate.  I am raising him to be aware of environmental issues, and to take action when we can do so safely.

And so, when our playgroup celebrated Earth Day at the local park with a playdate and games, we celebrated.  Far from being outdated, Earth Day is alive and well.

This post originally appeared at DC Metro Moms Blog; Susan also writes at Toddler Planet. 

Rockabye: A Review

I’ll say it right up front.  This is not an unbiased review.  I happen to love reading Girl’s Gone Child, by Rebecca Woolf, and I had high expectations for her first book.  Rockabye: From Wild to Child is the backstory to Girl’s Gone Child, the story of how she grew up, quickly, and adjusted from a fun-loving party girl to a fun-loving mom. 

This is a love story, but it’s not quite the love story that we’re used to hearing.  It’s not romanticized or filled with gauzy clouds and sleeping babies.  Instead, it’s a raw, honest story of what it means to fall in love with your husband, to go through childbirth with a sense of humor and a bit of fear, and to transform yourself into a mother-creature that is still true to the woman that lives inside. 

Rebecca pulls no punches, telling her readers, as always, what it was really like to be young and single in L.A., accountable to no one, but yet everybody’s safety net, and then, the incredible 180′ turn that she had to make when she discovered that she was pregnant. 

And she keeps having to consciously make that turn.  Early motherhood is challenging, as many of us can attest.  Rebecca puts it down on paper, though, admitting to questions that run through many a mama’s head, late at night.  (As she puts it on page 108, “What life am I living and where do I belong? … Will I someday understand or at least get used to this?  Will I ever sleep?”)  She eventually answers her own questions and learns to love being a mom, playing in the sandbox, but she still occasionally has fantasies about changing it all around again, having a nanny, going to work, living in a big fancy house.  This mom explores her possibilities, only finally coming to the conclusion that we are each doing the best we can in the world, raising our children and living our lives according to our own choices and circumstances, and that’s okay.  As she says on page 164, and I wish this could be shouted from the mountatintops, “She is doing what she has to — balancing her worlds, her loves, her selves.”

What Rebecca has to say is something that, really, we all need to hear.  There is more than one way to be a mother.  There is my way, there is your way, there is her way.  (Provocative question, page 148: “Who are we to tame our children before they even understand what it means to be wild?“)  We each do this mothering gig in our own way, and choose our own sense of balance in a way that makes sense to us.  In this book, Rebecca Woolf demonstrates clearly that you can be a mother and a woman with your own ideas and loves and ambition too. 

That is a powerful message for today’s mom.

Thanks, Parent Bloggers, for giving me the chance to review this book just as it hits the bookstores.

This post original to Toddler Planet and Review Planet and may not be reproduced without permission.

Only Child

Recently, the book Only Child: Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo, edited by Deborah Siegel and Daphne Uviller, arrived in my mailbox.  I had heard a bit about this through the DC Metro Moms Blog, but I hadn’t responded, so I’m not sure how exactly it arrived in the mail.

But I like it.

A collection of stories from adults who grew up as only children, or were born only children, or grew up part of the time as an only child sounds like an odd read, but it’s actually pretty darn good.  Some of the writings read like (very well-developed) blog posts, but some are intricate musings on the nature of being an only child and how that changed defined the author’s life.

An interesting way to look at things.

The story that caught my attention, and my heart, was, “Becoming an Only Child,” by Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn.  In this, she talks about the life and death of her beloved older brother, and how it changed her, how she lived between two worlds grrowing up, and how neither seemed a perfect fit.  It’s sad, oh, it’s sad, but this is a beautiful read, and because of this one story, I can say that I enjoyed the book.

Edited to add: Ms. DeVita-Raeburn has since published her own book, The Empty Room: Understanding Sibling Loss.  I have not read it, but if it’s written anything like her short story in the previous book, it is likely to be sensitive, compelling, and real. 

Your Child’s Strengths

I’m late with this review.  I know it, you know it, and Parent Bloggers knows it too.  I’m almost embarrassed to post.  But the truth is, I was so captivated by this book that I really wanted to finish it before I posted, to do it justice.

Your Child’s Strengths is a new book by Jenifer Fox that takes on learning styles and learning disabilities and turns them on their head … asking each of us to consider children’s strengths instead of their weaknesses.  Right on! 

One of the things that has been so disappointing to me with the No Child Left Behind Act is the smoothing out of expectations of children … how each must perform to a minimum or average standard, and then the children and teachers are on their own for advanced work.  This book asks us to consider our child’s strengths and then use that information to help them learn and grow to their full potential.

My children are a tad young for this, but one tip has stuck with me: record your very young children’s likes and dislikes, their preferences, and what captivates them.  This information can be useful in identifying their strengths later … or in helping your child discover them for himself.

For instance, today I could write:

Baby:  Loves to put things in and take things out of boxes, bins, and tubs.  Delights in washing hands, playing in the bubbles, and helping Mommy do laundry.  When big brother and I were working on a foam puzzle today, (baby) picked out all the red pieces and put them in a pile.  I’ve never modeled that behavior, so this was something that he picked up on his own.  Some days (the baby) amazes me.

Preschooler:  Is enjoying school more as the days go by.  This week he agreed to sit in the circle for circle time, but he still prefers to initiate activities on his own schedule.  When it’s his idea, he is a brilliant painter, builder, puzzler, and problem-solver.  He also has begun to line up his trucks and “teach” them, asking questions, answering them, and praising their “responses” in a patient tone.  He is beginning to lead his little brother in games, but he is also delighted to follow older kids in their ideas.  He is learning to negotiate, and often says, “Me have an idea.  How about …” as he offers an alternative to naptime, snacktime, etc.  He is very empathetic and loves to snuggle me, baby brother, and dad. 

Both children are very attached, yet secure enough to run/crawl off and play, together or separately.  It’s a good time to be their mom.

This is a great book and one that I will be keeping nearby as my children grow.